Why Some Couples Are Texting Their Wedding Invitations
“There is NO obligation to come if you can’t!” part of the message read.
Shared with a group of friends, the text was not an invitation to a happy hour, a casual group hang or a weekend pickleball meet-up. It was for a wedding.
Sharing the relevant information about their wedding celebration over a series of group texts, Adrian Mangiuca and Mariah Baker, both from Washington, D.C., and in the aeronautics and space industry, had summoned around 30 friends to join them at a local bar after a family-only ceremony in Rock Creek Park this past June.
“We were traveling, and we kept saying, ‘We really need to tell people about the wedding’,” said Dr. Baker, who has a Ph.D. in earth and planetary science. “Adrian drafted a text kind of outlining everything.” This included the date, a rough start time, the address of a local dive bar and some details on what to expect: “A little drinking and dancing.”
While some engaged couples relish the myriad details that weddings — and their planning — inevitably bring, many are taking a hard pass on what they feel are superfluous expenses and unnecessary stressors. Although this casual approach to wedding invitations might have made Emily Post clutch her pearls, for millennial and Gen Z couples it’s a natural way to share their wedding logistics. And it saves couples money.
The average total cost of wedding invitations and stationery was $530 last year, according to the Knot. For some weddings, though, the cost can be significantly higher. Laura Ritchie, who runs Grit & Grace, a luxury wedding planning service, says the engaged couples she works with spend, on average, $5,000 to $10,000 on wedding invitations.
The great wedding boom of 2022, which saw a staggering 2.5 million couples wed, brought with it an onslaught of over-the-top celebrations. They were frequently shared across social media and, with multiday event schedules, numerous outfit changes and far-flung destinations, often resembled something closer to the opening ceremony of the Paris Olympics than the weddings of past generations.
Couples searching for alternative wedding ideas have become something of an internet meme. Laura Ramoso, a comedian and recent bride, posted a comedic sketch about out-of-the-ordinary wedding approaches on TikTok in July that garnered more than two million views. “I think the pandemic changed many people’s priorities,” Ms. Ramoso said. “Along with everything else in our lives being thrown up in the air, so did certain traditions, customs and the status quo.”
For many engaged couples, that new status quo is the post-Covid reality of higher interest rates and lingering inflation, which translates to forgoing the rigmarole of months (or years) of meticulous wedding planning. For some, this means skipping the ritual of sending carefully designed letter-pressed and foil-stamped invitations by mail. In its place: sending wedding invitations that are far more reflective of the times we live in — often a text message or an email, sometimes accompanied with an easy way out.
Analicia Sotelo, 37, who works in brand communication, and Will Larson, 44, who works in the mortgage banking industry, shared the details of their Surfside Beach, Texas, nuptials by text message, aiming to keep things more casual and intimate. The couple, who live in Katy, Texas, hosted a weekend beach house wedding this past June. They texted their small guest list a link to their wedding website, offering the option of joining the festivities for either the full weekend or just the day of the marriage ceremony.
“If I had all the time in the world, I would put together a gorgeous invitation, embossed and all this stuff,” Ms. Sotelo said. “But my mother had put together a quinceañera for me when I was 15, so part of me had kind of gotten out the princess-y part of a wedding.”
For Richel Cole, the founder of For the Good Events, a wedding planning and design firm in Honolulu, wedding invitations by text are a natural reflection of our times. “As millennials and more Gen Z couples are getting married, their main form of communication is almost exclusively digital,” she said, “and that’s reflected in the way that information for their wedding is provided to their guests.”
Karolina and Jon Reyes, who grew up in Queens and now live in Chapel Hill, N.C., married in a 28-person ceremony at the Queens Botanical Garden in July. The after-party, with dancing, drinks and friends, began at 10 p.m. at Velvet Brooklyn, a bar in Williamsburg. The 50 or so guests were invited via text.
“We bought an Etsy template, and the template had these additional stickers that you can use in Canva,” Ms. Reyes said, referring to the graphic design platform. “And so I just took this champagne sticker and then we created it in Canva and added some text and then took a screenshot of it,” said Ms. Reyes, 31, who works as a senior product manager at a marketing firm. “Our text message was like: ‘Hey, we’re getting married. Come join us.’”
A majority of the friends they contacted didn’t know the couple was planning a wedding so many were surprised to receive the text at all, which was sent just 10 days before the celebration. “Knowing our friends, you can’t tell them months before” she said.
Etsy reports a huge jump in searches for digital invitations in recent years, while Canva says it has had nearly 80 million uses of its wedding and save-the-date templates globally in the last year, with consistent growth since a 2021 post-pandemic spike.
Even with longer timelines, opting for a text over a formal printed invitation is still the preferred choice for some couples.
Erika Kauder and Jimmy Ward, who are having an August 2025 wedding on the Outer Banks in North Carolina, plan to send all of their wedding details digitally. Ms. Kauder, 36, who is a hospitality and communications consultant, and Mr. Ward, 38, who works in marine conservation policy consulting, split their time between Bali and Jakarta, Indonesia. They are undertaking a majority of their wedding planning from afar and are looking to keep things simple.
“It’ll either be an email or some sort of digital card that goes out.” Ms. Kauder said. “I’ve also been looking into these text services that can send out the initial text and then over your wedding weekend send out an auto text to the crew that’s there. So just something simple.”
Amanda Poast, 44, a forensic scientist, and Sean Day, 36, a bank branch manager, have been together for seven years. They moved in together in Seattle during the pandemic and put off formally marrying. The couple are now planning a family-only wedding ceremony in Chicago this September and are considering having a larger celebration for friends and extended family at a later date in Seattle, where they still live.
“I can totally get the huge crush of people looking to spend over-the-top money, ” Mr. Day said.
But true to his and Ms. Poast’s own style, they’re taking a more casual approach. Earlier this summer they shared an Evite with several dozen friends and family members. A glittering disco ball on a purple background with large font letters reading “Let’s Party.”
The Evite was an open invitation to celebrate with them in Chicago, with no formal events planned. “Let’s go to a Cubs game, maybe eat some deep dish, definitely shoot some Malört.”
And the final line: “Obviously, no pressure. Could be fun tho….”
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