Seven reasons to consider sleeping apart from your partner
When you move in with your partner, it’s generally assumed you and your partner will share a bed. However, a growing number of couples are opting to sleep apart – even on holiday.
A third (33%) of couples choose to book twin beds while away, new research shows. The survey, which forms part of Hilton‘s 2025 Trends report and polled 2,000 adults who have been on holiday, found that 59% sleep better on their own. This results in almost a fifth (19%) booking separate beds. A further 11% book different rooms.
Nearly half (47%) do this to make sure they have a better night’s kip and 28% claim it’s due to different sleep preferences.
A ‘sleep divorce’, as some have coined the practice, can not only help to improve sleep quality, but also has the potential to improve your relationship. Cameron Diaz and husband Benji Madden are one couple who advocate for a co-sleeping ban while Brian Cox believes sleeping separately from his wife is the key to a successful marriage. Taking it one step further, Tim Burton and Helena Bonham-Carter lived next door to one another during their 13-year relationship, to ensure they both had a “personal space to retreat to”.
Benefits of sleeping in separate beds
What are the potential benefits to sleeping apart? (Getty Images)
1. Improved sleep quality
One of the most immediate advantages of sleeping separately is the significant enhancement of sleep quality. “Distinct sleep patterns, such as snoring, tossing and turning, or differing schedules, can disrupt a partner’s ability to enjoy restful slumber,” explains Dr Hana Patel, NHS GP and resident sleep expert at Time4Sleep.
2. Reclaiming personal space
According to Barbara Santini, psychologist and sex and relationship adviser, separate sleeping arrangements can profoundly elevate personal autonomy. “Couples often feel compelled to align with each other’s routines, which can inadvertently stifle their individuality,” she explain. “By reclaiming personal space, partners not only cultivate their identities but also develop a greater appreciation for their time together. This shift can rekindle intimacy and strengthen their emotional connection.”
3. Lessening impact of sleep disorders
Many of us grapple with sleep disorders or specific needs that can be exacerbated by sharing a bed. “For instance, those dealing with anxiety may find that a partner’s presence amplifies their discomfort, leading to sleepless nights,” Santini explains. “In these situations, sleeping separately provides a tailored sleep environment that accommodates individual preferences, ultimately promoting better health and restorative rest.”
4. Improved communication
Instead of pushing you further apart, experts believe sleeping separately can act as a powerful catalyst for improved communication.
“When partners can express their needs without the pressure of nightly proximity, they are often more open and honest in their discussions about the relationship,” Santini explains. “This shift can transform potential frustrations into constructive conversations about compromise and mutual support.”
Experts say sleeping apart can improve sleep and your relationship. (Getty Images)
5. Less resentment and conflict
Sleeping apart can help couples feel less resentment as it gives time away from each other to get a better night’s sleep without being disturbed. “This means that couples will be able to miss each other, whilst being able to enjoy their time together without being annoyed and irritated due to not sleeping well,” explains Dr Lindsay Browning, psychologist and sleep expert at And So To Bed.
6. Improved physical and mental health
Getting a good night’s sleep should always be a priority because it can work wonders for our health and wellbeing.
“From improved productivity, immunity and brain function to increased energy levels, sleep can leave us feeling refreshed and ready for the day ahead,” Dr Browning explains. “A lack of sleep can also contribute to poor mental health and increase the chances of anxiety and depression. Ensuring you’re well rested can contribute towards problem solving skills, better mood, ability to make decisions and overall enjoyment levels – which will be beneficial for your relationship!”
Sleeping apart can actually improve intimacy. (Getty Images)
7. Enhancing intimacy while sleeping apart
While sleeping in separate rooms can sometimes reduce physical closeness for couples, Dr Browning says it also offers unique benefits and ways to minimise any potential drawbacks.
“When you’re well-rested, you may feel more energised, have a better mood, and be more receptive to physical intimacy with your partner,” she explains. “If you are worried about maintaining closeness, you could plan some ‘snuggle time’ in a shared bed before moving to your own bed for sleep.
How to know if sleeping apart is right for you
Whilst sleeping separately is something that could have some major benefits for some, it may not be the right path for every couple.
“Studies have shown that sleeping with your partner has benefits too, in fact, sharing a bed with your partner is proven to make you feel calm,” Dr Patel explains. “Sleeping close to the person you love helps to release oxytocin (the love hormone), serotonin (contributes to wellbeing and happiness), norepinephrine (helps to regulate sleep and balances stress), vasopressin (increases sleep quality and decreases cortisol) and prolactin (associated with improving the immune system and improved sleep).
Before you settle on separate beds, Dr Patel says there are other things you can try, such as the Scandinavian sleep method. “This involves couples sleeping in the same bed but using two separate duvets or blankets,” she explains. “Two blankets can help eliminate sleep issues associated with body temperatures as well as tossing and turning.”
And, remember, your sleeping arrangements can be as flexible and adaptable as you like. “If you find that sleeping apart has improved your rest, you could consider continuing the practice on weekdays when you both need more rest for work,” Dr Browning advises. “Then on weekends, you can share the bed again, creating a balance that allows you to enjoy quality time together.”
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