How can I help a friend who is relentlessly negative about life?

After one of my recent book talks, an audience member described a friend who was having a hard time. Every conversation turned to the stress the friend was experiencing at work or the marital problems she was facing at home. “I want to be there for her,” my new acquaintance told me. “But I don’t seem to be helping.”

Offering emotional support should, of course, be central to any good relationship – and until recently, I thought that patient listening was the best help that someone…