I Have an Idea That Can Instantly Solve Helldivers 2 Friendly Fire Problem

As a seasoned Helldiver, I’ve spent countless hours diving deep into the chaotic battlefields of Helldivers 2, spreading democracy one bullet at a time. The thrill of the fight, the satisfaction of a well-placed shot, and the camaraderie of working together with my fellow soldiers—these are the things that keep me coming back for more.

But there’s one thing that’s been bugging me more than the Terminids themselves: the friendly fire fiasco.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the thrill of dodging not just enemy fire but also the occasional “accidental” shot from my trigger-happy teammates. It adds a certain spice to the battlefield. But lately, it seems like some of my fellow Helldivers have forgotten the meaning of “friendly” in friendly fire.

The Helldivers 2 Friendly Fire Conundrum

Picture this: you’re in the heat of battle, mowing down bugs left and right, when suddenly you’re engulfed in a fiery explosion. You think, “Damn, those Stalkers got me good!” But as the smoke clears, you realize it was your own teammate’s misplaced Eagle Cluster Bomb that sent you to an early grave.

Or how about this classic scenario? You’re lining up the perfect shot on a Hulk’s heat sink—when suddenly your screen goes red, and you’re down. Confused, you look around only to see your squadmate slyly lowering their gun. “Sorry, mate, thought you were a bot!” Funny.

It’s moments like these that make me wonder if some of my fellow Helldivers got their training from an Automaton firing range. But fear not, for I have a solution that could put an end to this friendly fire fiasco once and for all!

The Managed Democracy Disciplinary System

Here’s my proposal to Arrowhead: introduce a new system to keep these rogue Helldivers in check. I call it the Managed Democracy Disciplinary System (MDDS for short). Here’s how it works:

If a Helldiver manages to “accidentally” kill their fellow soldiers four times in a single match, they’ll be awarded the prestigious “Medal of Mismanaged Democracy.” This shiny badge of shame will stick with them for the next three matches, serving as a warning to their teammates that they might be in for a wild ride.

But it doesn’t end there, of course.

While wearing this medal, our friendly fire enthusiast will face some penalties to remind them of their transgressions. Perhaps their Stratagem-calling privileges will be revoked, forcing them to rely on good old-fashioned gunplay. Or maybe they’ll take increased damage from all sources—after all, if they can dish it out, they should be able to take it, right?

And if they continue their friendly fire rampage, killing two more teammates in any of these three matches? Well, then it’s time for a little time-out. They’ll be kicked from any Helldivers 2 teamplay for the next two hours (+1 hour for every repeat offense), giving them plenty of time to reflect on their trigger discipline.

Now, I know what some of you might be thinking. “But what about the chaos? The mayhem? That’s what makes Helldivers 2 so fun!” And you’re right—friendly fire is an integral part of the experience. We don’t want to remove it entirely.

But when the actions of a few reckless Helldivers start to obstruct the swift spreading of managed democracy? Well, that’s when High Command needs to step in and make an example of these ne’er-do-wells.

That said, one thing is certain: if we want to be effective in our fight against the Terminids and Automatons (and maybe even the Illuminates, if those squid-faced bastards ever decide to show up), we need to make sure we’re not constantly shooting ourselves in the foot, both literally and figuratively.

So, what do you think, fellow Helldivers? Is the MDDS the answer to our friendly fire woes, or do you have a better idea? Let’s hear it in the comments below!