My son was hit by a car while riding his bike and was gifted a new one, how should I respond?
DEAR ABBY: A month ago, my 7-year-old son was struck by a vehicle while riding his bike in a crosswalk. He’s fine now. His injuries were minor, although it was frightening. Police and paramedics responded quickly, and I took my son to the hospital to have him fully checked.
Later that day, a police officer came by our house with a new bike for our son, purchased by the driver of the vehicle. He gave us a paper with the driver’s insurance information and said something to the effect of, “Her address is on there too, if you want to thank her for the new bike. That was really nice of them.” I was shocked that he would say that.
I guess it was a nice gesture, but she hit my son with a car! The driver admitted to having been distracted. At the scene, she said she thought she had hit a dog. I could go on, but suffice it to say the driver was 100% at fault.
I put the new bike away in the garage. My son saw it there and wanted to ride it. I held out until our insurance claim was accepted, and we went for a ride today. The new bike is not as good as his old one, but he was excited about it because it is a different color. I’m so grateful that he is doing well and isn’t afraid of biking again. My question is, do I have to write that thank-you note? If so, can you please give me the words? — BICYCLE MOMMY IN WASHINGTON
DEAR MOMMY: I can think of a few choice words, but no rule of etiquette demands you thank the woman for the bicycle that was destroyed because of her inattentiveness.
DEAR ABBY: I have a group of friends I’ve known for 40 years. As time has passed, we have grown apart politically. This wasn’t a problem until recently. Whenever we get together now, they shout at me about my political choices. At first, I tried to defend my position, but I was shouted down. Then I explained that I didn’t want to talk politics, that I respect their right to have a different opinion and to please respect mine. That works only temporarily. The next time we meet, it’s the same. It’s like they think if they all talk at once, they can convince me. They can’t, and I have no desire to convince them.
It has reached the point that I’m no longer comfortable in their company, and, evidently, they’re not in mine, since they are now meeting without me. I can make new friends, but 40 years is a long time, and I miss them. Is there nothing more I can do short of pretending I agree with them, which I won’t do? — ISSUES APART IN NEW YORK
DEAR ISSUES APART: Just as there is nothing more that your old friends can do to convince you, the reverse is also true. You have now reached a stalemate. Politics aside, these friends are shouting at you and disrespecting your wishes. For your own sake, it may be time to step back and cultivate friends who are more tolerant than these folks appear to be.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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